One of the biggest challenges that anyone has ever had when dating is standing out and showcasing your qualities. This is not a new problem. Men, women, introverted, and extroverted alike have had this issue since the date was invented.
So all this talk on this and many other sites about the internet bringing us closer together has helped right? Wrong actually. Well, not actually wrong it just created different problems. Now we have too much information. Everyone is filling out all of these profiles, forms, and utilizing every character possible in the text fields giving their perspective match everything they could possibly need to know to learn how great they are.
Do you see the problem yet? No? Think of it this way. When you are scanning someone’s profile that you have matched with or found something of interest you start reading and then it happens. You run across some piece of information that turns you completely off. He’s only 4’9″? She had 7 children? We start this process by judging books by the cover then we start judging the story by reading the preface and not the first chapter. In reality the guy that is height challenged is in a wheel chair for the next 6 months because of an injury and the girl with 7 kids adopted her siblings when her parents passed away and they are all grown and out of the house. See Don’t you feel guilty about passing on the people I just made up?
The point is when you are filling out your online profile remember this “Less is more”. All the things you can put in a profile are topics you can talk about over chat, text, coffee, or dinner. Before any of that can happen you have to make connections. Somebody’s quality could be someone else’s red flag and will decline a conversation. If you give people reason to they will judge you before they will give you a chance.
This is your introduction. Limit yourself to 3 photos and change them often. You can reuse photos but you should change them out every few days. if you get more matches with a particular photo then you want to use that. Toss the ones that do not get attention. Every application is different on how you can tell the amount of attention you get from a particular photo.
If you are going to use the maximum of three photos only use one group photo. That group photo should not be your primary photo. The person should not be left to guess which one is you and waste his or her time playing a guessing game.
Probably the most important thing to remember, pick a good photo and a recent one. Think of this like your photo shoot. If you can use a professional photo. If it works for magazines it should work for dating apps.
Everyone should have something. Empty profiles can be just as bad as ones with an hour’s worth of reading. Not everyone is great at the first move put a tiny bit of information about you then add an icebreaker question. What is a basic question you would want to know about someone? or Ask a silly question. The trick is to get someone talking. You want to be approachable.
To those that want to put to much information. Remember the rule. Less is more. Why hand them everything they could learn about you in a weeks time in 5 minutes of reading? Also let me tell you a secrete. You are not the only one reading the profile when you receive the message. That is when most people read the profile right before they message. Don’t give them a reason not to.
Move to Text Quickly
Okay so you are competing with everyone else they are talking to. Once you think things are comfortable hand them your number with the following.
Hey, I’d like to move this to text here is my number. If you don’t use it no hard feelings.
AND I’M NOT KIDDING HERE!!!! Mean that statement NO HARD FEELINGS. if they are not comfortable, pressuring them is not going to help you win your case. If they want to continue chatting longer that fine too, Your response then is well if you need it again just ask. DO NOT CONTINUALLY OFFER THE NUMBER. It gets creepy the second time.
If they never message you again after you have handed them the number then let it go. There are plenty of connections to be had out there. This one didn’t pan out. Simply walk away. Some people just don’t want to hurt someone’s feeling by saying no or that they’re not interested.
NOTE: This will not be published