This has been one of the hardest topics I have ever had to cover. Mostly because I am not sure I can properly define it. I really don’t believe anyone has. I thought I had it at one time or another but I was wrong there too. But what are we really talking about here? Unconditional love?! I don’t think the descriptions cover it.
“According to the book Real Love, unconditional love is, in essence, true love — so different from the kind of love most of us have known all our lives that it deserves a definition of its own. Unconditional love is caring about the happiness of another person without any thought for what we might get for ourselves.” Google Search
Okay, okay that is a good description but it is really not enough for me. There are missing pieces to this definition. Unconditional love is real and it does exist in this world but it is missing something. Let me give you a hint. It is the word unconditional, a word that means not subject to any conditions. To me it sounds like trying to describe happiness as non-sadness. It just doesn’t work. So the best we can come up with is a non-negative to describe a positive? Yes, non-negative is a mathematical term (shhh I looked it up) meaning either a positive or equal to zero. Math is so cold. Math should not be involved in this topic at all.
There is another part of the unconditional love definition that Google so eloquently provided that doesn’t jive with what I am trying to describe here. I can love my friend unconditionally and no matter what they do, I will always love them, but that does not mean that I love them on an intimate level. The word I am looking for is boundless which means unlimited or immense.
And this is where I came up with the title of the article and the next stage in this journey. Love: No Strings Attached.
I have a couple of movie clips that have context to this topic. The first one if from a movie called KPAX. Jeff Bridges plays a therapist Dr. Mark Powell interviewing one of his patients Prot, played by Kevin Spacey, who “thinks” he is an advanced being from another planet. Mark, starts asking about Prot’s home planet. Prot uses a term non sequitur. In short it means your question does not make sense or is invalid. 🙂 I looked it up
I highly recommend the movie KPAX. I don’t want to type out the dialog of the movie you can find that on other sites. What I got out of this video is that he is describing a society where people treat each other they way they are supposed to because it is the right thing to do. And not because of some boundary, law or condition. A species that loves as a whole without limits. At least that is what I got out of it. I believe we are capable of what is described in the video above on an individual level but we have not evolved as a society or a species to achieve what is described at a societal level.
The next movie clip from a movie called Another Earth. I really didn’t care for the movie all that much. The characters in this scene are not important as the story she tells. For me there is no re-watchability for this movie, but the following scene describes something that I think is important.
I have talked about what the video eludes to in another post. Perfect Imperfections. It is an article about people’s differences that make them who they are. How it relates to this topic, and the video above, is that we have some level of choice on what annoys us or gets under our skin. Yes it is possible to fall in love with a personality tic or quark.
When I say no strings I mean that really 4 different ways.
- First, I will not have limits on the love that I have to give, my cup will always always be overflowing. I will always have more love that I could possibly give in mind, body, and spirit.
- Second, I will love without limits, expectations, or thought of reward. I will love that person completely from perfection to flaw equally.
- Third, I will receive love purely and completely without guilt, restraint, or promise of reciprocation.
- The forth and probably the hardest part for any of us takes nothing short of perfect love and perfect trust and that they have the same in me.
I really hope you understand what I am trying to convey here. Please follow me on Twitter or Facebook for daily posts.
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Thank you for listening.