You know that spot in the center of your back that is just out of reach? You know the spot. It is the one that always itches after you are all bundled up to go out in the cold and no matter how much you rub against the corner of the wall you just can’t satisfy the itch.
That is what it is like post divorce. You have layers and layers of emotional walls to protect you from getting harmed. These walls are different for everyone, mine are humor and an attitude. I am content with my walls. We all have them, they protect us from the frigid winters of life. They protect against the frostbite, hypothermia, or anything that might be a threat to the flickering flame that is your soul.
That flame is a temperamental entity. As much care, feeding, and protection you can give it was never meant to be contained or hidden from the world. So as you layer up with another coat your flame becomes restless. It becomes the itch and the itch desperately needs to be scratched.
So here we are all bundled up for the winter with an itch in the center of our back. What do we do? We take off a few layers and reach out to a friend and ask for help. That works for the immediate itch but that is not what we are really looking for. When we take off all of our layers we get cold again and immediately bundle back up.
We want someone to be able to magically reach through all of our walls and barriers like they were never there. At that point the flame is no longer an itch because it is no longer contained. It only itches because we covet our true selves from the world.
You have to be careful though. There are many people out there that will be able to walk right through your walls but they may only be there to feed off of your warmth and light. You should be able to easily spot them. They are not in your everyday life. They show up when they need you, but they will never be around when you need them. Be careful of these soul sucking individuals. They only hang around until either they have been recharged enough to continue on without you, or your flame dies down too low to warm them. Then they disappear again. Don’t worry they’ll be back as long as you continue to give them access to your flame but you’ll never have half as much access to theirs’.
With the right person feeding your flickering flame and you equally feeding theirs’ you will truly have something special. You won’t need a coat in the winter. As long as you both are feeding each other’s flames you could withstand any blizzard life could throw at you completely naked and unafraid.
I have had that in my life. I want that again and I will not settle for anything less, you shouldn’t either. I wish us all luck in our searches for that person that won’t just scratch but will satisfy the itch.
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