Dating: Does Age Matter?

The other day on a social media feed I saw a meme that simply asked ‘Does age matter when it comes to dating?’.  My initial response was ‘no’, but it quickly changed to ‘not really’.

I have some readers now across the globe and I am not going to make the mistake of assuming that you as a reader understand the laws, frankly the legal system in the United States of America is so complex that if you get into any trouble what so ever its best to shut your piehole and hire an attorney.  We live in a democratic capitalistic society and on this land you are considered innocent until proven guilty.  That being said anything you say can and usually will be used and held against you in a court of law.  :-).

Here in the United States you are not considered an adult until you reach the age of 18.  The day before and any subsequent days prior to your 18th birthday you are considered a minor.  All content on this site and especially the context of this article are not geared for readers under the age of 18.  If you are reading articles on this site and you are under the age of 18, you should stop reading this site and go do your homework.

Sorry about that.  Anyway, So to answer the question, ‘Does age matter?’ When you are speaking of a relationship of someone in the United States between the ages of 18 and 130, no it should not matter.  Age is a measure of time on this planet.  It is not a measure of experience.  If life is like a walk through nature then everyone is on a different path.  Some paths intersect, some run in parallel, some run in opposite directions never destined to meet.  No path is an exact straight line.

With that in mind I think its better to say that age isn’t as important as life stages.  Let me start off with some examples.

  • A 22 year old with a younger children may pair nicely with someone in their 40s with small children.
  • I know a couple one was in their 60s with grown children and grand children married someone in their 30s that did not want, could not have, or had no plans of having children.  They had similar interests outside of children and belonged to many similar social circles.  It was one of the strongest equal relationships I have ever seen.

Notice I did not label He or She.  I was a single father in my early 20s long before I met my now ex-wife.  Many people will read the above and will believe the first example the guy is in his 40s dating a 22 year old in my hypothetical example.

A relationship can work on different life stages but its going to be more challenging.  Someone just turned 40 with their 1 or 2 children grown and off to college may have some conflicts dating someone in their late 20s with small children.  Or two people in their 30s with children at home and conflicting child schedules or children of different ages may have trouble planning dates.  These are just a couple of challenges people face dating at that life stage.  The thought of introducing anyone to your children is positively terrifying and I choose not to think about that.

I think part of the problem with dating especially when it comes to age, Its the difference between ‘what is’ and ‘what should’.  Nothing should be any which way.  People in general that would immediately say ‘Yes it matters’ without any deeper thought into the topic are the real problem.  Closed minded individuals feed their own insecurities by comparing themselves to others.  It puts those insecurities onto the people coming out of failed marriages and relationships.

Back to the point.  Does age matter? no it shouldn’t.  Life stages would be more important to me. Life stages will bridge some communication gaps and communications obstacles.   My best advice is to know yourself before you enter into anything with anyone.  You need to know where you are.  You can answer the questions like about what you’re looking for later.

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