Opposite of Ghosting

Feedback can be painful but sometimes necessary.  We all ghost on people to some extent.  This post is going to cover the opposite of ghosting we call it closure.

Everyone has different boundaries and needs especially from a closure perspective.  And I have not met anyone that loves being told no.  In my geographical area alone there are 3 different radio shows that have a segment that calls people that ghosted after a first date.  The date ends, the person messages a few times, and no response.  There are many different reasons why someone might be ghosted on.  Usually on those shows it was either a misunderstanding that one person was put off at the time and a second date is scheduled.  Sometimes its not a simple misunderstanding and one or both parties are embarrassed by the date being dissected publically.

I am not saying that you need to give feedback on every conversation you have.  There are people that you chat with online that you realize pretty quickly that you don’t communicate the same way.  You can make it to a first date and you both may realize that there is an incompatibility that one or both of you cannot get past.  There is nothing wrong with this.

Nobody likes rejection but it comes in all forms and sometimes people need a reason for the rejection to bring closure.  I truly believe that generally people care enough about their fellow human being that they do not want to cause harm or pain to a stranger.  If you are asked for a reason as to why you do not wish to continue be honest and try to be as nice as you possibly can about it.  There is someone for everyone but that does not mean you are for everyone.  Sometimes no is a better answer than silence.

To those requesting the closure.  Not everyone is as articulate as someone with a doctorate in communication.  Some are blunt and we all communicate differently to some extent.  If you ask for a reason of why this person is not responding.  Be prepared for an answer you may not like or agree with,  and also be prepared to be continually ghosted.  If they haven’t responded before requesting the feedback may still give you a response in silence.

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