Open Letter to the Attached…

To the Husbands, Wives, Boyfriends, Girlfriends, or otherwise attached,

You seem to have found yet another website that is going to help people connect with each other online.  I am sure that some of the information you find on this site will be useful to you.

I am not hear to judge you.  I don’t know your situation and I don’t care to.  I only ask that you be true to yourself in your endeavors and be honest with the people you connect with.  The people on these sites come to these places for different reasons.  Who am I to say what is right and what is wrong?  That is a question that we as individuals need to ask ourselves before we take any action that will in fact affect another person.

Like this blog, my approach to dating today and my approach to these applications is going to be different than the next person.  I will be looking for the details and things that are important to me.  You will do the same for you.

I did not start my dating journey until my divorce was final.  I give the following to you as I would give this advice to former self if I had made the decision to pursue an secrete extra-marital through online means.

There is no such thing as online anonymity.  I am sorry its true, it does not exist.  There are measures that you can take to limit your online presence but the truth is that these only delay what will eventually happen.  People will figure out who you are.

Go to counseling.  I did not say go to Couples Counseling.  I said Go to counseling.  If you are in a committed relationship and you are seeking something that is missing in your life.  Seeking advice or input for a unbiased 3rd party about your needs may not help you in your current relationship, but It will help you in any of your future interpersonal relationships.  This help is not limited to your romantic connections.

Cheating is damaging to all parties.  Not just to your current relationship, but yourself, your friends, family and all the parties involved and their respective personal relationships.

Be Honest.  Be honest with whom you are connecting with and especially yourself.  Let the person you are connecting with have a choice and a voice in the connection you are starting.

Again, I am not judging you.  The above are things that I had told myself towards the end of my marriage.  It prevented me from starting something that I wouldn’t be able to properly commit the time or energy to while my life was transitioning from Married to Single.  Every being in the universe knows right from wrong.  We as individuals need to decide what is right for us.

Good Luck,

Adam

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